Dr Laura: When We Don't Want to be the Bad Guy

A man phoned in to Dr Laura's show and told her that his wife wants to adopt a child and what does DrL think? She replied that it was a personal decision, and what is he asking her for?!

He said he didn't really have anything against it. So DrL said again, "Why are you asking me then??" Then the man says that he is still unsure of whether it is the right thing to do. DrL said that "well it sounds like your not too keen on the idea, but your not saying so, so that you don't sound like a bad person."

The man said "Well that's right, I don't wont to be the bad guy who says no"

They already had three kids or so.

DrL replied....

When we don't want to do something we should say so.

But we don't, because we don't want to be the 'bad guy'.

But what is a 'bad guy'?

A 'bad guy' is someone who forces someone to do something they don't want to do.

So what you are going to do is you are going to turn your wife into the 'bad guy',

and then later, you will make her pay.

She told the man to be clear about his feelings and say "Frankly, its not something I want to do right now"... and to be clear that this is something he didn't want.