Finance, Vulnerability & Working Women
In times of financial crisis, the underlying fear could be of being stranded without a roof of ones head, money to buy food, basic necessities, providing for your children, etc.
Instead of being afraid that these necessities may not get provided, we intuitively worry about our spouses - 'will they step up to the plate and provide for us?' As children, when were were frightened, we ran and took shelter under our parents arms, turned to them for help... but as adults, instead of continuing this vulnerable behavior, we start to analyse the situation, and the capabilities of our primary caregiver - our spouse.
Another underlying fear could be of uncertainty of what the future will bring, or if you are working yourself: exhaustion with resentment - 'why isn't he earning enough - why do I have to bring in the bulk of the money?' Instead of taking these raw fears of ours to our spouse, we again start to analyse the situation, put our thinking caps on, mull over possible solutions... and we start to judge our most intimate other half. :(
Perhaps a better way to approach would be to take your specific concerns to your spouse and express how you "feel". Once you get the hang of telling them how you feel (which is in itself a very vulnerable feeling) you will eventually master the art of expressing your fears without offending him or hurting his male pride.
If you work, or are the primary breadwinner in the family, try to remember the fact that the resenting/judging can happen whether you work or not. If you love the job that you do, ask yourself if you were not married/in a relationship, would you still be exhausted and bitter with the amount of work you have to do? We often find our work quite rewarding, regardless of how tough it is.
Which boils down to the question: are you working because you enjoy what you do, and it is a part of who you are, or are you working because he is not providing for you? If you enjoy what you do, then great! Go for it! If it isn't, and you are worried about insecurity, exhaustion and resentment, then try to express these desires to him... let him see the real you!
Unfortunately, women mask their raw fears from their men with sarcasm, anger and resentment, whilst if they would only let their soft, vulnerable side show, their men would find that quality much more endearing. Which man wouldn't want to rescue his damsel by fighting off her demons for her?