The Pauline Marriage

by Francis Clare Fischer

"I am a Christian and a plain Quaker. As such, I wear a prayer cap. It is a precious reminder of Paul's call that we pray always and as a woman Paul asks, in my understanding, that I cover my head in prayer. It is also a reminder of a more controversial request of Paul. Paul asks that women cover their heads as a sign of obedience to their husbands.

"What I have found is that Paul's simple prescription for marriage has healed and brought great joy to my own marriage and that of others I have known. Paul asked husbands, first and foremost, to love their wives as Christ did the Church. Now we know that there is no greater or more unconditional love than this. Then he said, in effect, "Women, this is what a Christian husband is. Be obedient to him." That is very different than the sense one is so often given of Paul's request. Over a long and sad history, Paul's brilliant request has become twisted and made a justification for women's obedience to a domestic tyrant. Nothing could be more unlike the requirements of a Pauline marriage. In fact, I say that Paul's request is brilliant, because it creates a situation where neither man nor woman can become tyrannical. It creates a situation where love is necessary."

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