Practicing Self Care and Feeling Guilty About It

Surrendered Wife Mentoring by Sarah Warmly, SoftlyWarmly@hotmail.com
Inspirity's Note: Sarah Warmly has run extremely successful Online Surrendering Courses and is currently in the process of redesigning her next project. I did my SW course with her.

Issues:

• "I still feel like I should be doing more and that as a stay at home mom I should have loads of time to take on the causes of the world"
• Letting Go… Surrendering… and feeling like your not living your potential.
• "a nagging sense that I am not fully living in my gifts and using the skills and talents that I have."
• "I also have the desire to do more, to put in more of myself, so that so many others can benefit. And when I do not do this, I feel selfish, and guilty. "
• There was a time when I was doing all this stuff. I was doing so much. But I was so stressed out, but "satisfied" all the time. Now I have "let go" of all that, and have more time for me and my home, and that feels great too. But I still feel bad for not helping others out more.

From: sarahwarmly

"Hi Ladies - yes, I relate to the points you are making here too.....it is a slightly confusing topic in a way.....until you see the core principle at work behind the notion of self-care......as I understand it most people on the planet are very wound up inside, quite tightly coiled with tensions and anxiety so we are easily upset and running on automatic and frazzled or angry or depressed/low energy....

"Laura's suggestion to bring self-care in is to get us to begin to experience what it is to really relax and let go ie DO NOTHING, no thinking, no anxiety, no making mental lists of things to do once we complete our self-care etc etc so we can tune in to something deeper behind the self we are accustomed to being and find what is at our deeper core, release our light.....

"What I realise is that many of us even when we think we are relaxing and letting go are actually still very busy inside, thinking, feeling, chewing over something, worrying or generally filling our inner space up....

"We were born as wonderful innocent light beings and as life progressed we felt we had to take on all these ways of coping and controlling to protect ourselves and now instead of us being the Guardian of our Light within we identify with any feeling, thought or emotion flying around inside our small selves and we become that...the only way guidance is going to come through as to life directions and callings is to literally DO NOTHING and very few are the people on the planet who know how to actually DO NOTHING and be genuinely quiet....!!

"It is only once we quieten down enough inside that what is next is quietly and clearly revealed. Otherwise we are too busy with our ideas of what is next ie imposing mental concepts built on egoic wants and needs/survival issues onto the moment.

"So feeling bad or guilty is for sure another way to fill the space with something and not leave it free for nothingness to occur. I really know this because on those few rare moments in my life when I have been REALLY quieted within there has been such a blossoming inside.....such knowing is revealed.....

"There are some really interesting teachings around for us to contemplate at this time...Eckhart Tolle is a great one...my dh is reading his book 'The new earth' I think it is called....he talks in there about the way we reinforce our Ego every day through small repetitive habits and as long as you do that you block your light from coming through.....relaxing is key to allowing who you really are to come through but we all think that means we have to take a hot bath.

"Actually you can be Superwoman and be relaxed about it.

"But most of us don't know how to do that. Most of us resist Life on some level and in doing that we create limitation, confusion, doubt, anxiety, guilt.....we don't know that there really are unseen forces around us supporting us to move forward and express ourselves once we get the Egoic idea of who we are out of the way......

"It seems to me we are here to step into greater responsibility on the planet but not from an Egoic place, its like there has to be a fundamental shift in orientation. If you are still identified with the small 'survival issues' self then you will just burn out.

"If and when you begin to identify with serving something bigger than you it all changes.....your energy levels can be truly miraculous.....the key is the shift from a base of 'wanting and needing' to a base of serving....it takes time to apply it within but no time at all to see it...we are all in this process together...moving out of density and into fineness....

"This is one of those places where the Journey of Surrendering becomes more personal because there are wider and higher issues at stake than 'what you will personally get' if you surrender.....your surrender within to being softer and wiser and more quietly intelligent affects the community around you, you are having an effect upon the whole planet believe it or not by embarking on this voyage of discovery.......it may lead you in many interesting directions, to healing books and teachers, through religious texts or into meditation, who knows ?

"It will be an individual journey for all of us depending on our make-up and choices......I have always seen Laura's book as a device from higher planes that draws us into a Journey that can go as deep within as you wish.....you can stop at any level of life you choose to or you can take it deeper and higher and let it begin to take you on a journey you did not expect.

"It seems to me you are a highly intelligent energy being and when this intelligence is a little undirected it can create this internal time-wasting and self-loathing you describe....

"I think if you start to read around some of the enlightened teachings that are around you will begin to get more of a handle on what is going on inside you....it is just a simple readjustement but it can take the longest time to do it when we are stuck in an old way of running inside, it is like we created all these grooves we run in and it takes a lot of energy to lift ourselves out of even 1 and create a new good one.....don't know if you get my drift.

"It is just the Ego we created and then we got stuck in it so we now have the wonderful and painful task to disengage and step back into the fluidity of who we really are....."

Well that's my musing for the day !! Hope I didn't scare anyone !!

Sarah