Letting Go of Financial Worry

By The Fascinating Woman.

"Enter the "letting go completely" philosophy. The responsibily of handling the finances you hand over to your husband, completely. That means that you don't worry about it. You don't open the bills. You don't pay them. You don't make the phone calls for them. He has to handle it. As he succeeds apply the principle of admiration (as it relates to the the masculine roles look at the this post & this one for more information). If he fails say nothing. He's "a big boy" he can take care of it.

The man I married was comfortable with finances. After we were married not so much. I had been my Father's book-keeper for years (he's self-employed). I knew that I knew how to handle things so when things were tight I would sail in to "save" us. We had meeting after meeting and discussion after discussion. I put together numerous budgets. Nothing worked. Checks bounced. Budgets weren't kept too. Money came in and seemed to slip through our fingers."

Read the full article: Letting Go of Financial Worry

Plus - read the comments in the article:
"The way you and your hubby manage finances will, I'm very sure, work for many others as well. I just wanted to put in my two cents that in some cases, like mine, this is not a catch-all philosophy."

The Fascinating Way to Speak the Five Love Languages

Read the full article here From The Fascinating Woman's Blog, and learn how to do it the fascinating way. :)

Which Language of Love do you speak?

1. Words of Affirmation: verbal compliments and encouragement.


2. Quality Time: quality conversation involves sharing uninterrupted while the other truly listens offering up responses based on that intense listening; quality activities are set up with time focused solely on what you and your mate are doing together.


3. Receiving Gifts: these are visible signs of love; they may be items bought from a store or made by you; being physically present with your mate going through the same experiences may also communicate the giving of a gift.


4. Acts of Service: activities we tend to call "chores" fall in this category.


5. Physical Touch: sexual intercourse, back massages, a touch on the cheek, a gentle squeeze of the hand, hugs and kisses, etc.

[information paraphrased from Gary Chapman's website]

Take The Test from Gary Chapmans Website

Learn the 5 Languages from Gary Chapmans Site

A Good Husband!

Ok - you're going to love this one - remember The Fascinating Woman? (the blog?) well, her husband has his own blog called "A Good Husband".


I’m Too Busy for My Spouse! What Do I Do?

"Plan for it. Most of the time, people know when they are going to have a busy time coming. Many couples fail to plan what they will do with their marriage when that time comes. Have a college finals week coming up? Are you an accountant during tax season? Try to throw in a quick lunch on one or two of those days in a week. You should integrate a weekly planning session into your activities as a couple so that you know when you can fit it in."

Click on this link to read the full article

Try To Treat Him Once A Day, (The Fascinating Way)

WARNING! Not for stressed out or frazzled women!
(or women who have just had a baby, and other high-stress situations that also result in the aforementioned category)

Dear Friends,

If you have been following the Surrendered Wife and exercising your Self Care regularly, you should theoretically be a super-relaxed and floaty chic... therefore well done!

If - and only if - this is this case, let's try and see if you can take this one further by treating your hubby to some TLC in the evenings. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not talking about under-the-covers stuff here, but more specifically:

• give him a warm-oil head massage
• fix up the foot-spa for him
• give him a foot massage with luxury foot cream
• give him a shoulder rub
• fix him a late night snack of his favorite kind
• or just simply walk into the room and ask "is there anything I can get for you, honey?"

Try to make 9-10 pm TLC Time for The Man, and see if it doesn't make him fall in love with you all over again! Marriage is all about giving the best of yourself to your other half, after all. If you cant do it daily, how about weekly? Monthly? Yearly? Try to start somewhere, the least you can do is put on your list of "Things To Do Before I Die" ;)

If these suggestions make you cringe, then ask yourself if your not behind on your own self care? If your too shattered by that time in the evening, (once the kids are asleep) - ask yourself if your getting enough rest during the day - if your doing too much? Is it really worth being so tired that you can't be the relaxed memsahib that can lavish TLC gifts on her husband?

No throwing tomatoes at me please, if you don't like this post, just block it out! It ever happened, you never read it.

Delegate the Cooking, the Fascinating Way

by the Fascinating Woman

"Inspirity left a comment on "the key to being a domestic goddess" post she asked, "How do you delegate the cooking?" Well Inspirity, and anyone else curious, here is some information first on whom to delegate to and secondly on how to deal with the some common pitfalls.

"Why should I cook when you do it already?", "This is your thing why should I bother?" The response to a child is fairly simple, "You'll thank me for this one day." or "I just want to equip you with plenty of skills so when you turn eighteen you can feel confident about living on your own if you want."
[Psst: the same argument works for teaching children how to do the laundry, how to clean a toilet, how to iron their clothes, etcetera.]

But what about when the party involved is your husband? I have seen two tactics that work. Tactic No. 1 is to play up what he does well. Does he have an ethnic speciality? [My husband makes amazing Chinese food.] Ask him to make some of those dishes. Several other male friends are masters of the grill and their wives encourage them tobarbecue as often as possible. Other men really enjoy making bread, so find reasons for them to do so."

Read The Fascinating Woman's Guide to Delegating Cooking

The Fascinating Woman Blog

"I'm just a flighty little nymph of a fairy seeking to bring some cheerfulness and sunshine to the world. "

why I write this blog

"I have read Fascinating Womanhood by Helen Andelin several times. Occasionally when it hasn't been handy or I wanted more information I have gone onto the internet and searched for more information. What comes up is always disparaging, cruel remarks, put-downs and mockery. Except for the few places where whole chapters are uploaded verbatim - which while not bad does not give me the additional insight I was hoping for.Therefore, after many fruitless searches, I decided that I would fill the need.I want you to know that I understand the way the modern woman may balk at the philosophy of Fascinating Womanhood because I went through the same resistance. The reason I have become an advocate is because it works."

"Inclined as you may be to scoff, I know my happy marriage is a result of living the principles as Helen Andelin outlined them. I strongly encourage you to get a copy of this book - though you can follow along with this blog just as well.

Additionally, I'm happy to report that the new edition of the book, released in 2007, was edited for much of the wording that is offensive to modern women, though the principles remain the same."

Fascinating Phrases

Ok Dearies,

Let's try and muster out some fascinating sentences that will make him grin from ear to ear.

I know it's soppy.

Practice in the mirror if you want - I don't care how you do it - just try and say at least one fascinating compliment, request, or child-like anger at least once a day...

Can you handle it?

On Complimenting:

• I know I can always rely on you to solve my problems! You see, it may be such a small thing to you, but it's such a BIG PROBLEM for me! Thanks so much for being there for me! :)
• You're such a noble and honourable person. Always wanting to do the right thing. :)
• [his name here] [his name here] He's our man! if he cant do it, no one can!lol.
• I'm so proud of you.
• It's wonderful to know that such a strong and rugged man can be so tender and gentle in the home.
• You're the kindest and most caring man I know.
• It's lovely to be so well looked after.
• I cant believe you got [this present] for me! I've always wanted one of these!
• You work so hard and go to such great lengths just make our family happy. We appreciate that so much.
• I can't believe you are doing all this just to provide for us. :)

On asking:

• I want to ask you for an absolutely HUGE favour! Please can you [fill in your own blank] for me? :)
• Look totally helpless and ask him to do things for you, and then take a big sigh, and say " Thanks, That would have been so hard for me to do... :)

On Being Upset:

• Your such a mean thing!
• Your such a bully!
• Your always saying mean things to me!
• You could be nice if you wanted. Your normally always so nice, today your just being a monster!

Related Articles:

http://thefascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/2008/07/childlike-anger-assignment.html

http://thefascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/2008/10/childlike-response.html

http://thefascinatingwoman.blogspot.com/2008/03/using-masculine-words.html

Inspired by A x
Can't even muster out an "I Love You"? :)

Fascinating Womanhood, Helen Andelin

Click on book to buy from Inspirity's Book Clinic:

"Celestial Love is a term used in Fascinating Womanhood to represent the highest kind of tender love a man feels for a woman, or a woman feels for a man.

It lifts love out of the mediocre and places it on a heavenly plane.

It is the flowers, rather than the weeds, the banquet rather than the crumbs."